Sexual Abuse: Safe-Smart Rules for Kids

December 2009

Preventing Sexual Abuse: Safe-Smart Rules for Kids

Adapted from an article by Pattie Fitzgerald

As kids grow older, they naturally tend to come to grips with imaginary threats, whether it’s the boogeyman or the monster that dwells under their bed.

But what about real-life threats from real people?

As parents and caring adults, we want to make sure that we are teaching kids about personal safety in the most effective, up-to-date manner.

This does not mean teaching our kids to fear everyone or suspect that everybody out there in the world is a child molester. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Most people are not waiting in the wings, ready to harm our kids the moment we turn our backs.

However, we do live in a world where childhood sexual abuse exists. In my experience, one of the best ways to protect kids is to empower them with the right kind of safety information. I like to start with my Super-Ten “Safe-Smart” Rules.

The Super-Ten Rules are a great way to start the safety dialog with your kids. You can even role-play or create specific “what if” scenarios with your children and apply one or more of the rules as the response. The Super-Ten Rules work because they can help kids (and parents) identify a “thumbs up or thumbs down” situation or spot a potential red flag in another person’s behavior.

The Super-Ten "Safe-Smart" Rules

I am special and I have the right to be safe!
I know my name, address, home phone number and my parents’ cell phone numbers.
Safe grownups don’t ask kids for help. They go to other adults for assistance.
I don’t keep secrets from my parents. No one should tell me to keep a secret from my parents, especially another adult.
I never go anywhere or take anything from someone I don’t know, no matter what they say.
I always ask first and get permission before I go anywhere, change my plans, or accept something – even if it’s from someone I know.
Everybody’s “bathing suit areas” are private, and bathing suit area games are not allowed.
I don’t have to be polite to someone who makes me feel scared or uncomfortable. It’s okay to say “No!” even to a grownup if I have to.
If I ever get lost in a public place, I can FREEZE AND YELL or go to a MOM WITH KIDS and ask for help.
It’s not my fault if someone tries to touch me in a weird or uncomfortable way. I will always tell a safe grownup if I feel scared or confused about any touches. And I will keep telling until I get help.

Safe-Smart Rules work for kids at nearly every age. Even very young children can be taught these basic concepts. Review them often, and clarify and update as your child matures. What you tell them can make all the difference in the world.